Villainess Era: Why Women Are Done Playing Nice

For too long, women have been conditioned to be people-pleasers. We’ve been taught to be agreeable, self-sacrificing, and endlessly accommodating. But what if the secret to personal growth, confidence, and fulfillment isn’t in playing the hero—but in embracing your villainess era?

What Is a Villain Era?

A villain era isn’t about becoming cruel or reckless. It’s about unapologetically prioritizing yourself. It’s about shedding the expectations that keep you small and stepping into your own power. The so-called “villains” in media—think Maleficent, Catwoman, or even real-life historical figures like Emma Goldman—aren’t evil or malicious. They are simply women who refused to be controlled. And that’s exactly what your villainess era is about: reclaiming autonomy and doing what serves you best, because when you were born you were given ONE life and your only job is to live it. If you were born with ambition, and it hasn’t been conditioned out of you yet, then you’re in luck. Most of us forget who we are and have to figure it out later in life.

The Power of Prioritizing Yourself

Women are often taught to be selfless to the point of exhaustion. But constantly putting others first leads to burnout, resentment, and a loss of identity. A villainess era is the antidote to this. It’s a phase in which you set boundaries, focus on your goals, and stop apologizing for treating yourself like the priority you are. Your one and only job in life is to be your YOUest

This might mean saying “no” more often, cutting out toxic relationships, going after that dream job without hesitation, or finally taking that solo trip you’ve been putting off. It might mean sleeping on a different schedule than the rest of your people, or starting a new hobby or reading more often. The key is understanding that your needs matter just as much as everyone else’s.

Rewriting the Narrative

Think about how society frames women who take control of their lives. If you’re too ambitious, you’re “intimidating.” If you don’t settle, you’re “picky.” If you put yourself first, you’re “selfish.” Meanwhile, men who do the EXACT same thing are simply seen as confident, driven, and successful.

Your villainess era is about rejecting that double standard. You don’t need to explain yourself. You don’t need to shrink to make others comfortable, nobody who loves you wants to operate at a low resolution. Embracing your power doesn’t make you a villainess—it makes you an autonomous individual, which is exactly the point.

How to Step Into Your Villain Era

1. Set Ruthless Boundaries – Stop overextending yourself for people who don’t reciprocate your energy.
2. Own Your Ambitions – Go after what you want without apologizing for it.
3. Stop Explaining Yourself – You don’t owe anyone a justification for your choices.
4. Embrace Confidence – Speak up, take up space, and trust in your own worth.
5. Release Guilt – You’re not responsible for managing other people’s comfort at the expense of your own happiness.

The Liberation of Being the “Villain”

Here’s the truth: stepping into your power will make some people uncomfortable. That’s okay. Not everyone will understand your journey, and not everyone is meant to come with you. As those folks fall away from your life, new space is opened for your Villainess shit. Like purging your closet to make room for the new clothes. It just happens. Some folks aren’t part of your next chapter and that’s ok.

A villainess era isn’t about becoming heartless—it’s about finally listening to yourself instead of the noise around you. It’s about choosing yourself without hesitation. And in doing so, you might just find that you’re not the villain of your story—you’re the author of it.

So go ahead, embrace your villain era. You deserve it.